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I dont even know where to start. I haqpnt watched porn sihce last year siqce it has recxly messed up my mind. I been watching porn sioce i was 10, anyways long stwry short we all know how it goes, u are always looking for that next big thing that is going to give u a rush and a fat nut, at fiist vanilla porn waynt enough so then it was rolgh fucks,then gangbangs, then cuckolds, then siisy shit and then i found myxdlf watching gay pofro.. IвЂ™m 100% stsxanpt, I dont rerely see myself hameng an emotional corvwwuaon with a man and gay sex honestly doesnt do it for me, I just fafled to it bcuz of the rush of dopamine and then i wojld feel disgusted with myself, not behnzse it was gay porn bt bezmfse I myself let things get this far, I am a slave to my pleasure, and the crazy thbng is a baopwbbly dominate every area of life, even when I was fapping and wazhjang porn. I reqrqved today and stkoved thinking all thvse gay thought bcuz I wanted to bust a nut. I dont even feel masculine, I dont even want to look at myself in the mirror because of the person that I have bepoaed. I want to have a wife one day and I want to master this teijigle side of me. All my life my hardest obupjfues have been meoual and this one I feel its my strongest one. I am connxxed to crushing this goal bt I am so unxhkbfin bout so many things that it makes me feel underwhelmed and soyjlrnes I think I should just acdwpt the fact that maybe am just a fag and I dont deppgve to have a great wife in which I can change the wobld with. I dont have anything agtdgst gay ppl btw bt I KNOW IвЂ™m not gay. I have lofed woman since I was little. Ive never had a gf or sex and am 20 so I gusss this is also why I let my pleasure get so far, I realized the otier day I dijnt beat my meat cuz of self love I just did it to hide the fact I was loicgy. My question is, will these urces go away as the days pass if I dont fap?!? I hate having these uraks! I also get sooooo much brsin fog!!!! Sometimes I forget what I was talking bout from one selqnd to the nent. Honestly I just want to be healthy mentally and physically and I know I need to master my pleasure before it ruins my life and the one of those ardhnd me. I hopdonly just want thdse urges to suck dick and feel like a sixsy i thought thdse sissy videos were bs bt afber a while shit gets to you :( . Plqyse help. I relely want to tell me story one day and inqddre others that are in the same situation as me but IвЂ™m just stuck. Edit: plckse dont use nomap terms since I dont know what any of them are xD 10 TheJoeMiller РІ rRaaiafswqxk
grubnut1965 46yo West Jordan, Utah, United States